Charlie Sheen’s Ex – Brett Rossi on porn sex versus civilian sex

Brett Rossi wrote a great article on thrillist.com about the difference between having sex with porn stars versus sex with real people.

We’ve all seen at least one raunchy porn that was so disgusting-yet-mesmerizing we couldn’t take our eyes off of the screen while wondering whether this is how we’re all supposed to be doing it.

However, there are some glaring (and not-so-glaring) differences between a porn set and your bedroom at home — and several added complications to civilian sex. Civilians, to be clear, are the folks who don’t routinely have sex on film… amateur jerk-off videos and filthy Snapchats notwithstanding.

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Porn star sex is actually extremely safe

Sex with a porn star is the safest promiscuous sex you will ever have due to our strict 15-day testing policy. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met in real life (in no way associated with porn) who don’t even know where to get tested — let alone the last time they were tested (if ever) for any STDs.

There’s a considerable hygienic divide

Most civilians aren’t as hygienically prepared as they may think. This is because normal hygiene doesn’t compare to porn hygiene. My last scene partner’s meaty vagina looks like a Maserati compared to the last civilian’s Toyota Camry I played bumper cars with; and homeboy’s Amazon rainforest down south has probably been growing since his prepubescent years.

It is essential to go through the steps of preparing for your romp — and civilians, even the good-looking ones — don’t seem to know how to properly prepare for sex.

Ladies, it is ESSENTIAL that your pussies purr on a regular basis. You better look, feel, and taste like a fresh sangria on a hot summer day. Carry some sort of moist wipes to keep your lady bits fresh at all times. In my own home, I have more baby wipes than toilet paper and an endless supply of feminine douches, fancy organic regimens, and supplements for optimal vaginal health. Keep yourselves clean, groomed, and pretty at all times! It will save you from that embarrassing and awkward, “I don’t like to be eaten out” lie that you will tell your next sexual partner during a spontaneous rendezvous because you were not fresh, clean, and prepared!

Gentlemen, this goes for you too. Manscape! In case you’re unaware, it sucks having to stop to pick those annoying pubic hairs out of our teeth during a sloppy blow job because you were too lazy to weed whack your giant bush. Also, wash your balls and ass throughout the day. Ninety percent of women who give you the, “I don’t like to give blow jobs” excuse do so because at one point or another, they’ve been traumatized by a raunchy, smelly, dairy-farm ballsack in the middle of a heat wave. Whether it’s a quickie or a marathon, keep your goods fresh on a regular basis so you’ll never torture a pretty girl (or guy) with the stink of rot ever again.

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Parlor tricks are best left to the porn stars

As you know from being a (secret) porn connoisseur, it is typical to go through four or five positions during a scene. The majority of these positions are to give the viewer the best view of the, um… action.

Not every position in a porn is for actual sex. It is extremely important to know which moves are just for show! For example: no woman on Earth actually enjoys the pile driver. Men, please do not attempt this move. Your one-night stand will likely send you the bill from her chiropractor because her neck is tweaked from you trying to be the cool, freaky guy behind closed doors.

Almost every time I encounter a civilian in the bedroom, it seems they want to act like it’s America’s Got Talent: Porno Edition. This is especially true when an amateur with an average-size penis is trying to replicate Manuel Ferrara in Evil Anal 69. Porn stars like freaky sex, but our version of freaky is not what won the last award at the AVNs for “Best DP.” Stick to what you’re good at!

Civilian sex is more selfish

Most women absolutely hate having their faces used as target practice for men finishing. Especially when cum gets in our hair. Here’s the thing: we don’t take kindly to being interrupted during our orgasm. A man pulling out to unload on us creates a huge disconnect. But for many men, this is the ultimate fantasy. Well, stop. This move interrupts a woman’s deep orgasm with your own, thereby diminishing your partner’s opinion of how good you are in bed. Selfishness in the sack is no turn-on.

In porn, everyone is generous. Everyone cums. And, by extension, everyone wins. The next time you watch a porno, take note at how selfless the sex truly is. Apply that — not the facials — to your own sex life.

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Adult film star Brett Rossi is a non-biased porn actress who may or may not be jaded from having sexual relations with men… and women who do not reside in the porn industry. Follow her on Twitter: @imbrettrossi.

Source: Thrillist

 

 

 

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